April Fool’s Day used to be so much fun.
I would dream up schemes the night before, set an early alarm, then execute pranks on unsuspecting family members and friends.
Switching the salt and sugar at home was an early classic. “Abducting” my basketball teammate as he leaned against an unlocked driver-side door while parked with a mutual friend was one of my favourites.
Being a father of seven children made for infinite material as each became a teenager with a sense of humour. For the record, I never pulled off any “turns out you are adopted” stunts; it was generally good, clean fun.
However, I will not be doing any April Fool’s Day pranks this year.
COVID and climate change have killed the fun.
It has become clear that just about anybody will believe just about anything – so why bother?
If people will believe a novel virus that first appeared near the Wuhan Institute of Virology was not leaked from that lab, where is the fun in fooling such people?
If people will dutifully don masks and lock down our entire society to combat a virus that is almost exclusively a significant threat to elderly people with pre-existing conditions, where is the fun in concocting a plan to trick people.
If people believe every single year that we are facing an existential climate crisis, even though the thousands of climate scientists who sign documents citing imminent climate catastrophe have had it wrong every time … what good would playing a prank on these people ever serve? It’s just too easy.
Humans are so deeply fooled that one has to work incredibly hard just to have them believe in the truth.
Hmmm. Actually, that gives me an idea.
I hereby request to the officials in charge of the naming of special days that we change the first day of the fourth month of each year from April Fool’s Day to April Reality Day.
Oh my – it is going to be SO much fun to wake up early tomorrow and prank people into understanding that the best way to combat viruses that prey on unhealthy people is not to sit around getting out of shape while watching Netflix, but rather to work on physical and mental fitness.
The laughs we will have when my friends realize that I tricked them into understanding that climate change is a naturally occurring phenomenon, and that human activity is not destroying the planet at an alarming pace.
They will fall off their stools when they understand that I convinced them that the ridiculously impossible policies connected to the Net Zero fantasy are destroying western society and putting the power in the hands of the regimes known to be bastions of moral integrity such as Russia, China, and Saudi Arabia.
The joke has been on all of us in recent years, so it’s time to shake it up.
I hope you will join me in celebrating April Reality Day tomorrow. It will be so much fun.
