Friday, September 30, 2022

BIG Chuckle

Dude who writes of himself in third person offers free ghostwriting to millions!

I took on another pro-bono ghostwriting assignment today. I am doing it for millions of people who are looking for the right words for a very awkward situation. You can use these words on social media and in correspondence with friends and family members. You do not have to pay me anything for this service. Not even royalties from the increased success that you are sure to enjoy if you put my text to use....

Truth bombs met by insult salvos

Setting sail on a vessel of truth in a sea of misinformation nearly one year ago, I knew that I would encounter enemy fire. Sure enough, I have faced a consistent barrage of insults. I don't think "Rob" is even in the top 10 names I am called these days. I would estimate that since February of last year, I have been personally insulted at least 1,000 times, including numerous times before 9 a.m. today. I am...

Top 7 Reasons to Avoid Becoming a BIG Media Member

You love sensationalism. Hey, I get it; "450,000 NEW CASES! WE ARE ALL DOOMED!" gets the blood pumping far better than our cerebral approach of "Here is the latest scientifically valid data on vaccine effectiveness and severe outcomes from COVID". You do not care about what is actually going on in the world around you. OK, that is fair. No judgment here ... but you may want to speak with a professional therapist...

Generous gesture saves thousands of people … several seconds each

I get it. Life is hectic. It is difficult to find the time to even think of new year's resolutions, let alone write them down, and act on them. Now, it just so happens that I am a professional writer with a generous heart. So, as a late Christmas gift, I am offering some ghost-writing to every one of my 30,000 first connections on LinkedIn AT NO CHARGE! Yes, I am offering elocution as a solution in...

The Grinch Who Just Might Save Christmas 2021

While government Grinches steal more and more of Christmas 2021, there are so far no edicts that restrict the topics to be discussed at the tiny gatherings in Who(else is fed up?)ville. Smaller gatherings, in fact, may set the stage for deeper, more meaningful discussion of contemporary matters ... which will either spell disaster, or opportunities for intellectual growth. As you feast, feast, feast on your pudding and rare roast beast, we at BIG Media shall...

BIG changes to a classic Christmas carol

It is no secret that a lot of our loved ones could really use the gift of intelligence this Christmas. With that in mind, I present new lyrics for the 12 Days of Christmas. Pour yourselves some rum and eggnog, belt this out around the fireplace, then visit BIG Media to sign up your loved ones for the BIG gift they did not request but truly need. We suggest opening one of these treats each day...

LOGIC: proprietary solution kills trolls dead

Over the last 10 months, my team of scientists and I have been working diligently to come up with a product to get rid of those pesky trolls that have been littering our social media feeds. Well, I am proud to announce, we have finally devised a concoction that will exterminate those annoying pests. In Stage 1 and Stage 2 clinical trials, our solution has been 100% effective in making trolls disappear. Simply spray the trolls with...

Lessons in ‘coffice’ etiquette 

I have embraced over the last few years what I consider to be the ideal headquarters of the small business operator: the coffee-shop office . . . or, as I call it in order to save three syllables and therefore countless milliseconds per year, the coffice.  I use the coffice for almost all of my meetings with customers, prospects and colleagues. I do my administrative work and digital communication on my Mac laptop at the...

It’s time to play Burst Your Bubble!

Wow – I had the best Thanksgiving weekend! An amazing turkey dinner with my family, followed by a spectacular light show performed by Mother Nature in the form of aurora borealis. In a different kind of atmospheric bombardment, my weekend also included a lot of venturing into echo chambers and detonating truth bombs. So much fun! Way back in the year 2020, you needed to have the skin of a rhinoceros to dare introduce a concept contrary...

Friends, please share your bounty with all eligible media firms

Some of you might think that I am heavily biased toward my own platform, but I actually encourage you to support every single media outlet that meets these criteria: does not accept advertising does not accept funding from special-interest groups does not have any political affiliation does not engage in sensationalism or click-bait journalism does not quote "experts" to validate ridiculous claims and theories cites data sources with web links so readers can quickly...