Friday, September 30, 2022

BIG Chuckle

The Top 7 Things You Should Know

... but may not know if you get your news from mainstream or social media ... plus an answer key in the form of fact-focused (and a couple of tongue-in-cheek) articles. 7.  There is a grand total of zero giant islands (or continents) of plastic floating in the Pacific Ocean.  Taking a critical look at the ‘Great Pacific Garbage Patch’ 6.  Sea level is not rising at a catastrophic level in some areas. Hint: it is one...

Mission Possible: agents needed for daring operation

Reducing divisiveness in our society may seem like Mission Impossible, but I spy an opportunity to save the world from doom. While much of humanity is on Cruise control, I am on the Hunt for a team of agents to help save our Rogue Nation. It is no longer acceptable for highly educated, rational people to sit silently on the sidelines as ill-informed influencers poison people's malleable minds with terrifying tales of climate catastrophe. It...

Please wield your superior intellect with grace

OK, so by now it is quite clear that the people who read BIG Media content regularly are always the smartest people in the room. With that in mind, we are making a polite request that you wield your superior intelligence with kindness and humility. The people who visit our rivals in the sensationalistic sphere of mainstream media are generally not aware that they are universally ill-informed regarding our society's most pressing matters. Here are some tips to...

How They Fool Ya – by Nick Driscoll

When I first wrote and performed a parody of a Leonard Cohen classic, the reviews were unanimous – I should not quit my day job. Comparisons were made not to the late, great Mr. Cohen but rather to fingernails on a chalkboard or a screeching cat. Thankfully, my oldest son Nick can carry a tune. Please enjoy his rendition of How They Fool Ya, and let me know if you think his version is an upgrade...

The 10 Journalistic Commandments

Following up on the admission of my 7 Deadly Journalistic Sins (https://big-media.ca/please-forgive-my-7-deadly-journalistic-sins/), today I present the 10 Journalistic Commandments to which any young person entering the media industry should adhere. Now, I am not saying that running a truth-based media company for three months qualifies me to speak from the peak of Mount Sinai, but these commandments are available on your tablets, and they will be featured in my hard-cover book that will have a title...

The 6 personality types you need to know

Most of you have heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which was published as a handbook on psychological groupings in 1944. Well, 77 years is a heck of a run, but it is time for a shakeup in the science of personality. I spent dozens of minutes today formulating a new system of six psychological types that should become the de-facto Bible on personalities. I wanted to really set my ground-breaking scientific doctrine apart from the formerly...

Mountain of evidence behind workout benefits

In honour of Earth Day, I became one with nature (several times) as we shot this inspirational video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCyvfrH1E2o It was an expensive production as I ripped open the back of my pants during one of the skill exhibitions. We edited out my first experience with tear-away pants. As you will soon see, it is not the only way in which this promotion is a ripoff. To fully appreciate the remarkable athletic growth that came from my...

BIG Media Labs announces latest game-changing invention

While working with my team at BIG Media Labs in developing an anti-aphrodisiac that succeeded in helping me focus on work on Valentine’s Day https://big-media.ca/going-against-grain-this-valentines-day/, we stumbled upon a product that could be a game changer in the male sexual enhancement realm. Our merchandise is expensive to manufacture, so I am looking for two very affluent business leaders to invest. The product is shaped like and performs like a rocket, and it is powered by batteries, so...

Truth sets me free … of having friends

While executing a media business model based entirely on truth, I have adopted a personal policy of radical honesty, which means that I strive to be completely honest in all of my words and actions. This translates to losing touch with some friends and associates, but my theory is that I have deeper, more meaningful relationships with those who can tolerate my authentic self. I grant myself exemptions in my humour writing, which serves as...

Going against grain this Valentine’s Day

Heading into Valentine’s Day weekend, my social media feeds are filled with couples expressing their undying love to each other. Yuck. Florists and chocolatiers are doing big business as sweethearts say "I love you” with murdered plants and high-calorie treats. Gross. Sales of Viagra and Cialis, like their customers, are on the rise as lovers ensure that nothing softens the anticipated night of passionate love-making. Disgusting. None of that is of interest to me. I need to...