Thursday, May 30, 2024

BIG Chuckle

BIG Boastfest belies my modest manner

One of our BIG Media Ltd. members recently told me that I need to brag more. It was the first time I had ever heard anyone say such a thing. I want to respect privacy, but I will give you a hint and see if you can guess the name of the person who gave me this sound advice: The name of a particular Michael Jackson song pretty much gives it away. The first five people...

Please forgive my 7 Deadly Journalistic Sins

Bless me, readers, for I have sinned. My last confession was 40 years ago. It has indeed been a while since my parents hauled me off to the St. James Catholic Church confessional to be absolved of all sins. Back then, the most malicious misdeeds were riding my bicycle past dark and teasing my sister. I have upped my game considerably over the last four decades. I find myself back in the confessional today for compelling reasons....

Open letter to Google regarding Bill C-18

Dear Google, I totally get why you are testing out blocking Canadian news content from your mighty search engine in response to Bill C-18. But I have a sweet deal for you. At BIG-Media.ca, we have arguably the most accurate, spin-free news coverage, and we don't want your money ... so, how about you block all news agencies except BIG Media Ltd. It is a privilege to have our content shared on your search engine. It allows us...

BIG changes to a classic Christmas carol

It is no secret that a lot of our loved ones could really use the gift of intelligence this Christmas. With that in mind, I present new lyrics for the 12 Days of Christmas. Pour yourselves some rum and eggnog, belt this out around the fireplace, then visit BIG Media to sign up your loved ones for the BIG gift they did not request but truly need. We suggest opening one of these treats each day...

Top 5 Things You Can Do For Less Than $3 Per Week

It is no secret that high inflation is putting the financial squeeze on many of us. That means it is more important than ever to look for great value for your hard-earned dollars. So I took it upon myself to conduct extensive research in order to present the Top 5 Things You Can Do For Less Than $3 Per Week. 5. Buy ONE cup of coffee ... just one for the whole week, and don't even think...

Hey Doc – am I nuts?

With so many people saying that I am crazy to launch a media company that does not accept advertising, I decided to pay a visit to my clinical psychologist. Now, my understanding of doctor-client privilege guidelines dictates that my psychologist, Dr. May Dupp of the Clinically Registered Association of Psychologists (CRAP), must keep our conversation confidential. However, I can share the details of our conversation with whomever I choose ... so here is a transcript of...

Flat Earthers’ sphere mongering: to be or(b) not to be

Engaged in spirited discussion through plexiglass with a stranger six feet away at the neighbourhood pub last night (weird that Harlequin Romance has not picked up this story yet, right?), she started to explain why she is certain that Earth is flat. Now, I have too much faith in the body of scientific evidence to which I have been exposed to join her on Flatten Island, but I also am not in position to...

Six steps to overcoming addiction to electronics

Most of us will never sign up for a 12-step program to address our electronics-addiction issues. Twelve is a lot. Have you ever tried to make a dozen-egg omelette? I rest my case. With that in mind, I present BIG Media's 6-Step Program to Overcome Our Electronics Addiction: 6. Realize that we have a problem. Most of us can do this by covering our smartphone home screens with paper, and adding a check mark every time we...

Top 10 Ramifications of the Slap Heard ‘Round the World’

I am not a keen follower of pop culture, and confess to not knowing what any of the Kardashians look like, although I nailed the surname spelling on my first crack. But, partially because I – and at least 28% of my children before they turned 3 years old – consider myself to be a part-time comedian (full-time effort but only successful part of the time), I have found it impossible to resist weighing in on...

Open letter and dinner invitation to Vladimir Putin

Dear Mr. Putin, Could you do me a big favour and take your finger off of that big red button? I would love for my seven children to see some classic battles between Russia and the West, but would prefer that they be in Olympic and world championship hockey arenas, as opposed to a best-of-one nuclear holocaust. As you have said many times, Russia is a great nation – and I would love to see it stay...