I may not be an accredited plastic surgeon, but I have done a LOT of work on your face in recent years – and the results speak for themselves.
I opened your eyes – BIG Media’s Top 10 Myths Busted
I gave the outer edges of your mouth a little lift – BIG Media Labs announces latest game-changing invention
I put your nose out of joint – I refuse to be sheepish about my accurate opinions
I got cheeky with you – Relationship talk – it is time to address the imbalance
I eliminated wrinkles by getting the elephant out of the room – You might not want to talk about COVID, but it needs to happen
I raised your eyebrows – My war against really nice people – Part 2
I provided extended lashes – How we became a society of psychopaths
I even threw in some brain work at no extra cost – TRUMP – advice on how to manage this meddlesome mental malady
Now, my facial-alteration service is many thousands of dollars less expensive than the typical plastic surgeon – but it is time to face the fact that having access to the most accurate news on the planet plus my highly informative newsletter is worth a couple of bucks a week – BIG Media Membership
After receiving the ultimate facial, it is now safe for you to look in the mirror. You are welcome.
(Rob Driscoll, BIG Media Ltd., 2025)
#intelligence
#logic
