Saturday, July 27, 2024

BIG Chuckle

Open letter and dinner invitation to Vladimir Putin

Dear Mr. Putin, Could you do me a big favour and take your finger off of that big red button? I would love for my seven children to see some classic battles between Russia and the West, but would prefer that they be in Olympic and world championship hockey arenas, as opposed to a best-of-one nuclear holocaust. As you have said many times, Russia is a great nation – and I would love to see it stay...

Correction – COVID actually ranks #10 in causes of death among women age 60-69

BIG Media co-founder Laurie Weston is a remarkably meticulous data scientist and writer. In checking her work for the umpteenth time for her recent data-loaded article revealing that COVID-19 was not in the top 10 causes of death in the majority age groups for 2020, Laurie noticed a strange label for a row of data in the Alberta death database. See Man dies from vehicle collision with parasite for details, but it seems, despite appearances, that...

Top 5 Reasons the Canadian Government Will Next Invoke the Emergencies Act

Well, that was fun. So much fun that I decided to come up with a Top 5 list to commemorate the conclusion of a very strange chapter in Canadian history. Immediately on the heels of the announcement that the Emergencies Act is being revoked, I present to you the Top 5 Reasons the Canadian Government Will Next Invoke the Emergencies Act: 5. Early-spring snowstorm in Toronto. 4. Toronto Maple Leafs eliminated in the first round of the...

BIG Media founder cracks code in palindromic date

Typing out today's date – 2/22/22 – I realized something peculiar. By now, most of you are likely aware that I finished third in the national math test (Southern Alberta region) in 1981. So, it should come as no surprise that I was able to crack the code of what is obviously a complex numeric pattern in the date. If you multiply the first digit by 437.6, then subtract 19, then multiply by 0, then add...

Dude who writes of himself in third person offers free ghostwriting to millions!

I took on another pro-bono ghostwriting assignment today. I am doing it for millions of people who are looking for the right words for a very awkward situation. You can use these words on social media and in correspondence with friends and family members. You do not have to pay me anything for this service. Not even royalties from the increased success that you are sure to enjoy if you put my text to use....

Truth bombs met by insult salvos

Setting sail on a vessel of truth in a sea of misinformation nearly one year ago, I knew that I would encounter enemy fire. Sure enough, I have faced a consistent barrage of insults. I don't think "Rob" is even in the top 10 names I am called these days. I would estimate that since February of last year, I have been personally insulted at least 1,000 times, including numerous times before 9 a.m. today. I am...

Top 7 Reasons to Avoid Becoming a BIG Media Member

You love sensationalism. Hey, I get it; "450,000 NEW CASES! WE ARE ALL DOOMED!" gets the blood pumping far better than our cerebral approach of "Here is the latest scientifically valid data on vaccine effectiveness and severe outcomes from COVID". You do not care about what is actually going on in the world around you. OK, that is fair. No judgment here ... but you may want to speak with a professional therapist...

Generous gesture saves thousands of people … several seconds each

I get it. Life is hectic. It is difficult to find the time to even think of new year's resolutions, let alone write them down, and act on them. Now, it just so happens that I am a professional writer with a generous heart. So, as a late Christmas gift, I am offering some ghost-writing to every one of my 30,000 first connections on LinkedIn AT NO CHARGE! Yes, I am offering elocution as a solution in...

The Grinch Who Just Might Save Christmas 2021

While government Grinches steal more and more of Christmas 2021, there are so far no edicts that restrict the topics to be discussed at the tiny gatherings in Who(else is fed up?)ville. Smaller gatherings, in fact, may set the stage for deeper, more meaningful discussion of contemporary matters ... which will either spell disaster, or opportunities for intellectual growth. As you feast, feast, feast on your pudding and rare roast beast, we at BIG Media shall...

Lessons in ‘coffice’ etiquette 

I have embraced over the last few years what I consider to be the ideal headquarters of the small business operator: the coffee-shop office . . . or, as I call it in order to save three syllables and therefore countless milliseconds per year, the coffice.  I use the coffice for almost all of my meetings with customers, prospects and colleagues. I do my administrative work and digital communication on my Mac laptop at the...